Al “Shorty” Boller was found trying to end it all after missing a wide open draw on the last end of his $5 grudge match against his longtime nemesis Reginald Ulysses Upson, who chooses to go by his first initials…. aka RU Upson. After coming up short on an open draw for the winning shot, Boller gathered up his bowls, threw them a nearby pond, and ran off screaming into the shrubbery. Concerned fellow players found him about twenty minutes later preparing to hang himself. When asked why he picked such a short tree in his misguided attempt, he said “It was the only flippin branch I could reach!”
Boller was talked out of taking such extreme measures only because the club nominating comitee was so impressed by his decisiveness in the face of adversity and his stylish choice of lawn bowling outfits that they decided to make him club president.